Fake News
JIM'S BIG EGO WAITS 4 HOURS FOR CABLE
Friday, January 10, 2003
And then do you know when the guy finally showed up? Go ahead, take a guess. 5:58PM. Just two minutes early! I mean, at least if the guy showed up after 6 then they would've had the installation for free, but nothey didn't. - Cause of just two minutes. What the *censored* is that?!?
All right so it doesn't sound that bad, but let me explain. Jim's Big Ego is a busy band, right? They've got shows and tours and stuff, and they had to take time off special, just to sit around and wait. Okay sure, they intended to get some work done at home. Write some new songs or work out arrangements, that kinda stuff, but come on, you know how it goes. You get started and then you hear a noise so you stop and look out the window and then you get started again, and then you have to go and check to make sure the phone's still on the hook - cause nobody's called you yet to say "I'm sorry that I'm inconveniencing you so much, Jim's Big Ego," and then you try to work again, but by then it's time for dinner and as long as you're sitting around waiting you might as well take the time and cook something. And then, THEN, just as you've got the meat all marinated and ready to throw on the hibachi "ding dong, it's the cable man" and you have to drop everything and take care of the *censored*in' cable guy instead of your *censored*in' dinner even though by now you're really hungry and the marinade smells really good, but lord forbid you keep the cable guy waiting even though you're the paying customer!
So the point is that Jim's Big Ego waited around and wasted their time and they're pissed off about it. And can you blame them? They waited around for tv? TV! I mean, when you sit and wait for the phone guy you can at least say to yourself "well I definitely need to use the phone" - cause like, if you don't have a phone then you can't make phone calls and stuff. Sure people have cell phones, but it's still more important than the cable don't you think? Well Jim's Big Ego thinks so, but still, the band kept on waiting. Somewhere around hour three the band started to get philosophical, and that's when front man and songwriter Jim Infantino said stuff like "It really teaches you something about yourself, the fact that you would delay your life so much just to get TV. I mean, I don't even really like TV, but at this point I guess we do need it. Think about it, even if it's just CNN, people who don't like TV are always watching TV, y'know? It's really creepy when you start to think about just how much influence it has on our lives. And more imporatantly that asshole's like three hours late!" That pretty much marked the transition from philosophical to pissed.
Although, the good news is that Jim's Big Ego was able to get hooked up in time for the latest Real World marathon. Man, Cara's such a slut.
Mr. R.G., Minsistry of Propoganda, BigEgo Correctional Facillity, ToadSuck, AL
All right so it doesn't sound that bad, but let me explain. Jim's Big Ego is a busy band, right? They've got shows and tours and stuff, and they had to take time off special, just to sit around and wait. Okay sure, they intended to get some work done at home. Write some new songs or work out arrangements, that kinda stuff, but come on, you know how it goes. You get started and then you hear a noise so you stop and look out the window and then you get started again, and then you have to go and check to make sure the phone's still on the hook - cause nobody's called you yet to say "I'm sorry that I'm inconveniencing you so much, Jim's Big Ego," and then you try to work again, but by then it's time for dinner and as long as you're sitting around waiting you might as well take the time and cook something. And then, THEN, just as you've got the meat all marinated and ready to throw on the hibachi "ding dong, it's the cable man" and you have to drop everything and take care of the *censored*in' cable guy instead of your *censored*in' dinner even though by now you're really hungry and the marinade smells really good, but lord forbid you keep the cable guy waiting even though you're the paying customer!
So the point is that Jim's Big Ego waited around and wasted their time and they're pissed off about it. And can you blame them? They waited around for tv? TV! I mean, when you sit and wait for the phone guy you can at least say to yourself "well I definitely need to use the phone" - cause like, if you don't have a phone then you can't make phone calls and stuff. Sure people have cell phones, but it's still more important than the cable don't you think? Well Jim's Big Ego thinks so, but still, the band kept on waiting. Somewhere around hour three the band started to get philosophical, and that's when front man and songwriter Jim Infantino said stuff like "It really teaches you something about yourself, the fact that you would delay your life so much just to get TV. I mean, I don't even really like TV, but at this point I guess we do need it. Think about it, even if it's just CNN, people who don't like TV are always watching TV, y'know? It's really creepy when you start to think about just how much influence it has on our lives. And more imporatantly that asshole's like three hours late!" That pretty much marked the transition from philosophical to pissed.
Although, the good news is that Jim's Big Ego was able to get hooked up in time for the latest Real World marathon. Man, Cara's such a slut.
Mr. R.G., Minsistry of Propoganda, BigEgo Correctional Facillity, ToadSuck, AL
