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Jim's Big Ego Launches Full Scale Attack on Satan

Jims Big Ego Launches Full Scale Attack on Satan
The operation officially began earlier this week in an unspecified ethereal plane beyond our realm of existence.  This is the first military action for the Boston-based UnPop trio that is more widely known for its infectious songs and smart lyrics than for battling evil. "Although," as lead singer-songwriter Jim Infantino explains, its not really as much of a deviation from our past work as you would think. Jims Big Ego has always been anti-Satan even though this may be the first time we've ever tried to engage him directly in battle.

Chiming in his support, drummer Dan Cantor added, "Satan is just a really really really bad guy. Everyone knows he's a bastard. He's had this coming."

The band has also taken a stand against the Lord of Darkness in the past, dedicating their 1998 album "Don't Get Smart" to "the cherubim and seraphim who battled against Lucifer and his forces in the war between heaven and hell before the dawn of time." They spoke back then of launching their own war on Satan, "Because we just hate that guy. Bite me, Lucifer."

This battle, however, follows many months of Infantinos failed attempt to gain total support among the Jim's Big Ego community. "At first we wanted to record a song called 'Hey there, Satan, We're Gonna Go Down to Hell and Kick Your Devil Ass, You Stupid Ass - Yeah.'  I was especially proud of that tune, it was the mother of all songs." But then Infantino's efforts met with vast opposition when bassist Jesse Flack threatened to veto that song and any song that expressed the intention of kicking the devil's ass.

"Religions worldwide have been trying to defeat evil for centuries," Flack said.  "Wouldn't it be disrespectful to the world and other-worldly communities if we just went down there and did it unilaterally?"

Rebutting Flack's statement, Infantino said, "We wouldn't be acting unilaterally, there are three of us, you un-anti-satan-iotic traitor!" Although these diplomatic efforts failed, they provide a strong indicator to the probable approach Jim's Big Ego will take to their Showdown with Satan. "We're gonna go kick the devil's ass," Infantino said. "How hard can that be?"

At last reports Jim's Big Ego was surrounded by a host of demons wielding flaming swords.  But Infantino remained undaunted. "Just wait until we start bombing their capital city, Dis," he said. "Once they start seeing explosions and fires in the middle of Hell, they'll be bound to give up quick."

Mr. R.G.  Dante's Motel & Cafe - 12 Arrondisment, Circle 1, Hell.